A Christmas Carol
by celticstarwolf
Summary: A little help from some up expected people help one man see what he may loose if he doesn't look up. R&R Please and Thank you.
1. An angel came down

Hello everyone again. Wow two in one night got to be some kind of record for me lol. Anyway this little ditty came to me a few nights ago while watching you guessed it A Christmas Carol. Now it's not going to be quite like the Charles Dickens classic I'm only really using the premise of that wonderful story. Set a little after "100" but before "The Slave of Duty", so Hotch isn't in charge just yet. I do hope you like it. The first part is kind of short longer as it goes on.

Disclaimer: Again own nothing but me

Chapter one

An angel came down

He sat at his desk looking over the last case file JJ gave him trying to give the Austin police department some help no matter how little. With the last I dotted Derek closed the file and rubbed the back of his neck, he could feel the tense and stress starting to build again.

A knock sounded on his door, he looked up, "Come," a single word to let them know entrance was granted.

"Here's the information you needed Morgan," Penelope Garcia said handing him the manila folder.

She could see the tense in his posture and the stress that was barely blanketed behind his eyes. Her heart broke for him, but since he received this promotion he'd shut her out of his life not letting her in even in the least bit and in a way she was getting use to it. Granted it still hurt like hell, but there wasn't much she could do about it.

"Thank you Garcia," Derek answered taking the file from her out stretched hand.

He barely looked up at her there was to much work to be done. To many thing's that needed his attention. He didn't even notice when she left that was how focused on his work he was.

Slowly Penelope walked back to her office regret eating away at her. She wanted to rush back towards him get him to leave his office even just for a little bit, but she just kept moving forward. She knew better than to disturb him. She just wondered if he even missed her. Did he realize that he was turning into someone different someone no one recognized anymore? She missed the old Morgan the one she had fell in love with, but now that thought and hope turned to ash and dust.

Somewhere a clock struck midnight, a bright light filled his office, and slowly Derek raised his head, from its resting place laying on his desk his arms as a pillow, to shield his eyes from the light. Once the white glow disappeared he couldn't believe his eyes at who stood before him. This had to be a dream it couldn't possible be real could it but…

"Dad!"


	2. A Father's regret

Author note: next part short again but it will pick up I promise. Thank you to all who have alerted, favorited and review this piece you have no idea how happy it makes me feel.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except me lol

Chapter two

Fathers Regret

Derek wiped at his eyes trying to figure out if he was truly seeing things cause he knew that his father couldn't possibly be standing before him, he was dead.

"You just going to goggle at me son or are you going to say hello at least," Jonathan Morgan said approaching his son.

"Dad," Derek said again not believing his eyes for a minute.

"We all ready established that one Derek give me something else will ya," Jon stated taking a seat in the chair across from his son.

He looked Derek over seeing the tension line's in his forehead, the slump in his shoulders and he shook his head.

For Derek this was unreal. To see his father sitting there dark brown eyes looking him over the same eyes that he had it was a little unnerving to say the least. He finally cleared the fog in his mind and really looked at the man sitting opposite him. Dark blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and black slacks close to the same clothes he wore everyday Derek had seen him. An older version if you will. But still his brain refused to come to terms with what his eyes were telling him was there.

"But how? Why?"

"Let's just say I'm here to slap some sense into the thick head of yours," Jon answered steepling his hands in front of him.

Derek shook his head not understand in the least, "What sense?" as an after thought, "I must have been poisoned or drunk that's the only explanation to it."

Jon shook his head, "Your neither Derek Michael Morgan. Just too damn stubborn headed for your own good is all."

"All right say I believe this for a moment how do I know you're real?"

"You my son are too suspicious for your own good," Jon said then "you had a brown bear you carried everywhere. Fran had to wash and repair the damn thing so many times I don't know what was holding it together in the end."

Derek cocked an eyebrow, but still wasn't convinced.

Seeing the doubt in his son's eyes, Jon offered, "You named him Mack after your Grandfather Fran's dad."

His eyes shocked wide at the information, "I… but how."

"Lord Boy we raised you better than that speak plainly," Jon gouged a smile forming on his lips. He enjoyed seeing his hot headed, smooth talking son at a loss for words.

"Why?" one word was all he could say.

Lowering his eyes Jon cleared his throat, "Because son you're heading down a road that will only lead to pain."

Confusion marred his features, "I don't understand."

Sighing Jon looked strait at his son, "Are you happy?"

"What kind of a…"

"Just answered the question Derek."

He hesitated for a minute, "Yea I guess I am."

"Then why you are still here at way passed midnight. You should be home relaxing or with friends having a good time."

"Because Dad work is important to me, it's the job I do I can't let anyone down," Derek answered thought the words felt and sounded hollow to his ears.

"You're not letting anyone down son. You can't keep going like this you'll forget to live like I did."

Derek's head whipped up to stare at his father, "You didn't forget to love Dad you were always there for us. You never let any of us down."

"You were too young to remember Derek, but there had been a time when the job was all I lived for before I almost lost you, Sarah and your mother."

"I don't understand," Derek said trying to recall his childhood.

"You were about two at the time; I'd been working a tough case not home much, just when I thought I caught a brake something else came up. I stayed got so long that by the time the case officially closed and went home Fran had packed up you kids and went to her mother's, leaving me with a note saying that she couldn't take not knowing any longer. Needless you say I went to her and apologized we worked through the hard times and I vowed to never let work consume me again."

"I'm different Dad I don't have a wife or children."

"Are you so different Derek? Have you noticed that the one person that has been in your life for a long is suspiciously missing now? Did you stop and wonder where she's gone, or did you just not care any more."

Derek knew who his father spoke of and he had missed her, he just couldn't work up enough courage to get her back. He stared at his hands ignoring his father for a moment. He didn't see the older man rise from the chair to come and stand beside him.

Jon opened the bottom desk draw and pulled out the picture of Penelope, he took a long look, before setting it on the desk in front of him. "You would throw away this beautiful, lively, smart woman for a job that in the end will only destroy you. For another woman who would never be able to understand your job or why you do it. She would have gladly giving her life for yours. Yet you squander the friendship you built for nothing. The love you have for a damn job. I really should kick your ass Derek."

"She, Penelope…"

"Will not wait forever son, even if she'll love you forever. Just don't waste the time you have on this earth live and live well. Remember I'm proud of you of who you've become and who you'll be. I love you son." And with that Jonathan Morgan faded from view.

Derek woke with a start and glanced around, "Only a dream and too much coffee," yet Penelope's picture sat in front of him. Her smiling face beckoning his wounded and dark soul.


	3. Ghost of Christmas past

Authors note: hello everyone once again here's the next piece. Thanks to Harleyzgirl for the idea of using Haley that helped a lot. Thank you also to everyone who reviewed alerted and favorited this story it means a lot. So on with the show.

Disclaimer: own nothing but me.

Chapter three

Ghost of Christmas Past

Wiping the sleep from his eyes again Derek started to pick up his desk his father's words ringing in his ears. He wondered if he could make that leap from being just her friend to more. Loved her, yes of course he did but she had Kevin, that whining little man who didn't deserve his bright, funny, and vibrant Penelope. Not to mention he had all but ignored her the last few months not on purpose but the, the promotion had taken over his life in such a short period of time and then of course there was Tamara.

He cared for her, but she was a distraction at the best of times. He wished now that he hadn't been so stubborn and followed the advice Penelope had given him, instead of trying to prove something. He wondered if she'd even forgive his foolishness.

Shaking his head, he tried to clear the cobwebs that gather, before rising from his desk he took one last look his eyes landing on the picture of Penelope. The very picture his father had set out on the desk's surface that had been tucked away in his draw. Picking up the frame he questioned his sanity one more time as he stowed the picture away again. Now wasn't the time for sentimental thoughts he still had a job to do. Hotch needed him to keep this team together while he grieved the loss of his wife.

"That didn't mean you should stop living Agent Morgan?" a woman's voice said as another flash of light lit the small office.

"Oh hell no not another hallucination I cant take much more," Derek exclaimed aggravated.

"I'm no hallucination Morgan just simply here to help knock some sense into you is all," she said crossing her arms.

"I don't have time for this," was all he said before walking passed her and out the door. Stepping back into his old home he turned around to face Haley Hotchner shock written in the dark brown depths. "Where have you taking me, more importantly how?"

"The how isn't as important as where and when, just watch."

_He turned around just as his mother carried out the last pie to cool. She looked younger; her dark hair pulled back into a French twist, dressed in a bright red skirt and green sweater she looked beautiful. A big Christmas tree sat in the corner presents still under the tree waiting to be opened, lights hung around the house reminding everyone of the spirit of the season. _

Derek turned back to Haley, "This can't be."

"Why not," Haley returned her eyes no Derek.

He didn't answer right away; he just walked closer to his mother taking in her appearance. How he missed the simple times of his youth when his family had been whole. "Because this was Christmas when…" he trailed off as his father entered the room.

_Jon slowly walked up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her from behind, burying his nose in her rose scented hair, "Merry Christmas my love." _

_ Fran laughed lightly enjoying the feel of her husband so close, "Merry Christmas to you as well my husband," she turned in his embrace and met his lips half way in a gentle kiss. _

_ "Eww Mom that's just gross," a seven year old Derek exclaimed walking into the kitchen. _

_ "Just wait young man some day you'll find the one girl you won't want to let go of," Fran Morgan said pulling away from her husband. _

_ Derek just rolled his eyes and grabbed a cookie before running off to leave his parents in peace. _

"What happened that Christmas Derek?" Haley asked coming to stand beside him.

Derek glanced at Haley, but his eyes traveled back to his parents they were so happy together a pang s sadness washed over him. Despite what he's always told his mother, he did want a family a wife and children to fill his life he just didn't think he'd be worth any happiness.

"This was the year we had the big family party. Before Dad…" he trailed off not wanting to say the sound of the doorbell ringing caught his attention.

_"Sarah, Desiree, Derek, grandma Helen's here," Fran called and waited hearing the stomping of three children coming down the stairs. _

_ All the three exclaiming, "Grandma!" she opened her arms and grabbed them all into her arms holding her precious grandchildren close. _

_ "I've missed you," Helen exclaimed looking up at both Fran and Jon. She had missed her whole family those that she had left were near and dear to her ageing heart. _

_ "And we missed her Ma," Jon said a tender smile lighting his handsome features. _

Tears burned the back of Derek's eyes, yet he refused to let them fall. Even to this day he missed his Grandmother something terrible. He had always looked forward to her visits filled with stories about his father's childhood and hers. She had been the rock of the family for many of years.

"Why have you brought me here?"

Sad eyes looked at him, "To show you what family means. That life doesn't have to revolve around your job."

"It does for Hotch," Derek argued.

"And look where that has got him," Haley paused, bitterness seeping into her voice, "Aaron didn't always place his job first. It was only after, that it became his driving force, that and Jack."

Derek nodded and turned back to his family watching as everyone gathered around the table to share Christmas Dinner.

"There are a few more things you need to see Derek, come," Haley said a light touch to his arm and things began to change.

He recognized the change and a gasp left his lips, "Why now?"

"Just watch."

_No Christmas tree in the corner, no lights around the windows, no fresh baked goodies filling the house with there sweet smell, just silence__**.**__ Only broking when the door opened, as a twelve year old Derek entered followed closely by his mother and two sisters. _

_ "Go wash up while I start dinner Grandma Helen will be here shortly," Fran said watching her children closely. _

_ Twenty minutes passed and a knock sounded at the door, hurriedly Fran went too answered and was immediately brought into a warm motherly hug. She had never been close to her own mother but Helen Morgan had taken on that roll ever since she had married her son. The thought of Jon pierce her heart she missed him so much even now three months after his untimely death. She was afraid she would always miss him and at this time his favorite time of year, would always be hard for her to take. _

_ "He's always with you my dear. He will never leave your heart, you and the children each have a piece of him in you forever," Helen said pulling back to look her daughter-in-law over._

_ She had never thought of Fran as anything less than her daughter and now she knew that the younger woman would need her more than ever. _

_ "I know Ma I just miss him. I can't believe he's gone. It was only yesterday that I yelled at him to take out the trash, how stupid some of our fights had been, God how can I continue without him." _

_ "You will find the strength dear, for the children they are going to need you more now than ever," Helen answered brushing the hair at her shoulder back. _

_ They could hear the steps creak and Fran quickly wiped at her eyes, she didn't want her children to see her cry she needed to be strong for them. _

"That year must have been tough," Haley commented watching Derek close.

"It was," he answered absentmindedly.

He never knew how much his father's death had affected his mother. She had always stayed so strong for them, keeping them together. He had to chock but the tears again, how he missed his father it was an ache deep in his soul one that he wasn't sure he would ever get ride off. That Christmas had been a tough one to say the least, yet his mother had tried her best to make it a grand one.

_Sitting down for dinner Desiree looked around before saying, "Mom?" _

_ "Yes honey," Fran answered passing the noodles to Derek. _

_ "Are we going to get a tree this year, Christmas's in three weeks?" she asked eyes big. _

_ Fran thought about it for a minute then looked up at Helen who nodded just barely, "Of course honey tomorrow after school we'll go." _

_ "Since Dad, can I cut the tree down?" Derek asked glancing at his mother. _

_ "We'll see Derek I don't want you to hurt yourself," Fran answered knowing that he little man wasn't so little anymore that he was growing up to fast. _

_ Derek nodded and returned to his dinner._

"Come we have two more to see."

The scène changed again this time he stood back and watched the crowd of people the annual FBI Christmas party in full swing. He looked around spotting a younger Reid talking to JJ and Elle. Even after all this time he still missed that woman, there had never been anyone like her. His eyes sot out Gideon who was talking with Hotch about God knows what. He heard laughter and turned to see Penelope standing dressed to the nine's in a bright red sweater and green skirt with little Christmas trees scattered around it.

_"So are you going home for Christmas?" Penelope asked taking a sip of her drink, her eyes dancing with laughter. _

_ "Yea Mom would kill me if I didn't," Derek answered watching as she licked the last bit of moisture off her lips the urge to kiss her grew strong. He didn't realize until that moment how beautiful she was, how much he wished she would love him. _

_ He pushed that thought aside she would never see him that way they were friends, best friends nothing more. But still there was times when he wished he could have the same kind of love that his own parents had. _

_ "Handsome you still with me?" Penelope asked worried seeping into her voice. _

_ "Of course Baby girl why wouldn't I be," he smiled in return. "So what about you, what plans for the Goddess of all things?" _

_ A sad light entered her eyes, "Nothing but microwave turkey dinner and old Christmas classic's." _

_ Shocked by her answered, "You're not going home this year, sweetness?" _

_ She shook her head, "I never do honey, to many memories and no one really there for me." _

_ Sadness filled him at the thought of her spending Christmas alone._

"I never did go home that year," Derek said rubbing the back of his neck as the scene changed.

_One week after the Christmas party, Christmas Eve. _

_ "You know you didn't have to stay handsome I'm all right by myself."_

_ "And leave you alone on Christmas Eve no way baby girl you're stuck with me, now hush up and pass the popcorn." _

_ Penelope laughed, music to his ears, and passed the big bowl towards him A Christmas Carol playing on the television. _

"You two look pretty happy together," Haley commented.

"We were," Derek answered, "it was the best Christmas I'd had in a long time. Just the two of us, a bunch of classic Christmas Movies and popcorn I don't remember laughing so much as I did that night."

He remember the feeling of waking up with her curled into his side, her blonde hair tickling his nose, the feel of her soft curves pressed into his gave him wonderful dreams for many months after.

"Then why didn't you tell her?"

Derek turned to face Haley a sad smile on his face, "It's not the simple Haley. We, she's too good for me. I don't want to destroy a good thing."

"Like you haven't all ready?"

Derek gave her a puzzled look as everything changed again. Another FBI Christmas party, last years in fact. He could see Reid standing next to the food table talking to Emily about something, JJ and Will not far off with little Henry. This time it was Hotch and Rossi talking about who knows what. He just didn't see Penelope any where. An idea popped into his head and he quickly made his way to her office and sure enough there she sat fingers flying over her computer, looking like the angel she was.

"Why wasn't she at the party?"

"Because she figured she had no reason to be there. Kevin had left that morning to be with his family, leaving her behind."

Again Derek whipped around to stare at Haley, "You mean to say that she was alone last Christmas. That, that piece of shit left her by herself on one of the hardest days for her."

Haley nodded.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Derek wondered, he looked back at his baby girl his heart clinching in his chest.

He walked closer as she stopped typing a minute to look up at the broad beside her main screen; he followed her eyed up to the pictures that littered the broad. They stopped on the picture of the two of them from the previous year. JJ had manage to get a photo of the mistletoe kiss that they had stumbled into, yet he never once regretted that kiss only that he never took the opportunity to have more with his baby girl.

He heard her voice and watched as silent tears fell from her eyes.

_"I miss you Derek you'll never know how much you really mean to me. I hope you're having a good time with your family. I love you." _

At those three words he stood back in his office his heart heavy with pain and guilt.

"It's up to you what you do with this information Derek. Don't let another year pass by without letting her know. Life is to short live and live well," with that said Haley faded back into time.

Derek sighing running a hand over his bald head thoughts swirling around in his mind, he loved her to but how could he make things right, and should he. She was still with that jackass Lynch. Just the thought of his name made him want to punch the little shit into pulp. So much had happened and not just in the last few months but in the last year. Would she still want him? Did she even still love him?"

"Only one way to find out Morgan," a male voice said as another flash of light blinded Derek.


	4. Ghost of Christmas Persent

Author's note: hello again here's another piece of the pie lol. I hope you like it. I can tell you that there isn't much more to came two maybe three chapters left. Thank you to all those who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story it means a lot to me. So on with the show.

Disclaimer: own nothing cause if I did… well lets just say they would have been together sooner.

Chapter four

The Ghost of Christmas Present

"Man what ever I ate I won't ever touch it again," Derek said running a hand over his face. He looked the man over that stood in front of him. "So how can you be a ghost when you're not even dead?"

"I see you still have good observations skills when it comes to something's," he said a rare grin lighting his face, "by the way nice office."

Derek just shook his head, "That tells me nothing Gideon."

"Well there's nothing really to tell other than the fact that you need a good kick in the ass," Jason returned.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Derek asked though it was more of a rhetorical question.

"Because you my friend can not see the forest for the trees," Jason answered loving the frustrated look in Derek's eyes.

Running a hand over his head to stop himself from striking something Derek trying to calm down, "I don't need riddles right now Gideon, I want to know why? Why is this happening? Why now?"

A sad light entered Jason's eyes, "Because Derek you have changed from the man everyone has known. You have put your job before your family and friends. And as for why now well we, I mean he doesn't want you to end up alone and broken with nothing more than your job as a life."

"That's all I know Jason," Derek offered turning away from the older man.

"No it's not all you know Derek. You have a family a damn good one, by blood and not by blood, and they miss you, she misses you, though she would never tell you that in words."

Derek knew who he spoke of, for he missed her to, "I'm sorry wont cut it with her you know that Jason."

"I know that, it's something you're going to have to work at, but knowing her she'll forgive you," Jason answered resting a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I don't know if she should," Derek said sadness lacing his voice.

Jason didn't answered he just stood there a minute, before saying, "Come we have things to see," and with that Derek's office disappeared.

In its place an apartment appeared, well furnished with dark woods and soft carpet. Derek turned seeing Tamara seating on the couch holding a photo album in her hand tears making tracks down her face.

"Can I ask you something Morgan?"

Derek nodded as he watched Tamara instead of Jason.

"Why her?"

Derek turned around an unsure look in his eyes, "I… I don't really know. I just thought that she could offer a change, something different than the BAU."

"But she was the sister of a victim how could she be anything different?" Jason said pushing for the real answer.

"But she was, is different. She's fragile, yet strong holding everything together after her brother's murder," Derek answered though the words sounded hollow to his own ears.

"Do you want to know what I see?"

Derek nodded.

"I see a woman who is hurting that will not be able to move passed the tragedy of her lose. She is wrapped up in it to close. I see you both hurting in the end because you remind her to much of what she's lost. And you because you are trying to hide what is truly in your heart more importantly who."

Derek turned back to Tamara seeing her flip though the album again when the phone rang.

_"Hello," she answered wiping at the moisture on her cheeks. _

_ "No not this year." _

_ "Because I can't bring him there and for that matter I don't want to." _

Derek could only hear this side of the conversation yet he understood what she was answering.

_"No it's too painful," she pauses, "I just can't Aunt Shelly can't you understand that. I don't want to be near family right now it's to painful." _

_ "No he said he's working on Christmas Eve." _

_ "Yes I know and I will Merry Christmas to you to bye." _

Derek swallowed passed the lump in his throat. He didn't want to see anymore. It was just too much to take. He'd known sooner or later their relationship would fall; Penelope had been right about that.

"Should have listened to her," Jason said answering his thoughts.

"I wish you would stop that it's a little unnerving when you answer my thoughts without really knowing them."

"Part of the job," Jason answered vaguely.

"Is this the only thing you have to show me? My failure to keep a relationship longer than a few months, because it sure as hell doesn't help me any if anything it only reinforces why the job is so much easier to fall into."

"No this isn't the only thing I have for you to see just the shortest," Jason answered resting his hand on Derek's should again as the scène changed again.

_"Ma," Desiree called from the kitchen. _

_ "Yes honey," Fran responded as she walked in. _

_ "Did we get any cranberries?" Desiree asked as she looked at everything sitting on the counter. _

_ Fran thought for a moment, then, "I think there's some in the pantry from Thanksgiving." _

_ They both heard the front door open and close knowing that Sarah had just arrived. _

_ "Mom, Des were are you guy's," Sarah called shucking out of her coat. _

_ "Kitchen" came their reply._

_ Sarah walked towards the kitchen her arms filled with three wrapped packages. _

_ Fran looked up from cutting apples when she came in, "Who are those from honey?" _

_ "Derek," Sarah frowned setting the packages down on the only space available._

"You aren't going home for Christmas this year?" Jason asked an eyebrow raised in surprise.

Bowing his head Derek looked a bit ashamed, "No I though it best if I stayed this year. There would be other Christmas's to spend with family."

"That right there is why you need a swift kick in the ass Morgan," Jason said sharply making Derek turn towards him. "Yes there maybe other Christmas's, but what about this one? Why not make the most of the life you have instead of squandering the time you have left?" Jason shook his head, "You're a fool."

Derek opened his mouth to respond when Desiree spoke.

_"So he really isn't coming home for Christmas this year?" she asked a frown marring her beautiful face. _

_ "No girl's it'll just be the three of us," Fran answered an under lying sadness creeping into her voice. _

_ "Stupid fool," Sarah exclaimed harshly gaining looks from the other two women, "what it's the truth. He always tried to make it home for Christmas unless there was a case, and now since he got that promotion his head's been up his ass the whole time." _

_ "Sarah he's your brother don't talk like that," Fran exclaimed though there was something in her eyes that spoke of the hurt she felt at not having her baby boy home for the holidays. _

_ "When was the last time he called just to say hi?" Desiree asked crossing her arms._

_ Fran thought about it for a minute coming up empty. _

_ "That's what I thought he hasn't in months." _

_ "He's been busy, works kept him from a lot of things," Fran defended. _

_ "So busy that he couldn't pick up the phone and say hello I haven't spoken to him in months, he use to call at least once a week. I know his job's important but damn he can take five minutes out of his busy day to drop us a line can't he," Sarah said frustration seeping into her voice. _

"Any reason you've been neglecting your family?" Jason asked coming to stand beside Derek.

A heavy sigh left his lips, "Been so busy with work it's slipped my mind."

Jason just shook his head wondering what had happened in the time that he'd been gone.

_"Let's not talk about this anymore all right. Sarah go put the gifts under the tree and let's finish the pies. When he's ready he'll come around," Fran said, yet the words sounded hollow to her own ears. _

_ Christmas had always been a tough time of year for the Morgan family, yet they had always managed to be together on the one special day even if for just a few hours. Fran shook her head slightly wondering what had happened to her baby boy, when did he become so distance? Tears pricked the back of her eyes, yet she refused to let them fall. _

_ Later that night when all the dishes had been cleared away, the food put of and everyone had bedded down for the night Fran Morgan stood at the window in the living room watching the snow fall._

_ She looked up at the cloudy dark sky whispering, "Keep him safe Jon I can't loose him to. I love you honey Merry Christmas." _

Derek watched his mother shed tears that shouldn't be and cursed his stupidity. He'd hurt his mother one of very few who truly loved him. He wondered how he could have made such a mess of things.

The scene changed again and he faced the dark purple walls of Penelope's apartment. Slowly he turned around taking everything in not much had changed yet, he realized it had been some time since he'd last been there. He racked his brain trying to think of how long it'd truly been.

"Almost a year since," Jason answered the unspoken question.

"Why are we here she doesn't need me anymore," Derek said sadness filling his voice.

He knew she didn't she had Lynch. Why would she need or want a scared and broken man?

"Or so you think just watch."

_A knock broke the silence of the small apartment then a voice called out, "Just a minute." _

Derek had to suck in a breath when Penelope came walking out of her bedroom dress in an emerald green wrap dress that accented her curves all the more, her hair was piled high with little tendrils falling around her face. His heart ached at the sight of his baby girl. How he had missed her the last few months, they're flirting, movie nights and late night dinners. In truth she was the real reason he had started dating Tamara to get her out of his system. She was happy and didn't need nor want him anymore.

_Opening the door she greeted her visitor, "Hello Kevin my don't you look nice." _

_ "Not to bad yourself honey," Kevin replied kissing her cheek._

"No to bad are you blind? Do you need your glasses check? She beautiful," Derek exclaimed wishing the moron in front of him could hear his words.

Jason chuckled he always knew that Derek loved Penelope but was too scared to say anything to afraid of his past, to afraid of hurting a destroying the relationship they had.

_"You ready to go?" Penelope asked grabbing her purse. _

_ "Hu," Kevin fidgeted with his tie, "Penny there's something we need to talk about first." _

_ "Oh," she replied fear crossing her eyes. _

"Don't you do it? Don't you dare break her heart I'll break your legs," Derek growled watching the two closely.

_"Penny there's something I need to tell me and I'm not sure how…" _

_ "Just say it Kevin don't pussy foot around the topic I'm a big girl I can take what ever it is," Penelope said not feeling the bravery she was trying to exude. _

_ Taking a deep breath he began, "I think it's time we see other people. It's not that I don't love you I'm just not in love with you any more." _

_ "Why?" she asked in a small voice. _

_ "There's no real reason, but I guess because you send so much time at work you don't even take time off for us. I know the last few months haven't seen easy but, I can't sit by anymore Penny. I need a woman who's all in it not just half." _

_ Penelope nodded pushing the tears back, "I understand. Just because my job means so much to me, because my family means a lot to me you don't want to try. You don't have the balls to keep this thing going." _

_ "That's not it."_

_ "Yes it is. You know I thought you have more back bone than that Kevin I really did. But now I see that your just a spineless jackass who doesn't deserve my time," Penelope stood and made her way towards her door, opened it and motioned for Kevin to go. "And by the way thank you for destroying my Christmas," and with that she slammed the door. _

_ Sliding down the closed door Penelope pulled her shoes off a tossed them across her apartment trying to stop the tears from fall. She gathered her legs close and hugged herself as tears finally slipped down her check. _

_ "How could I've been so stupid to not see this coming," she asked her apartment when no answer came she finally broke down tears streaming down her cheeks. _

Derek came to kneel besides her trying to touch her red puffy face to wipe the tears away from her cheeks. He never wanted to see her cry again he hated it. It tore at his heart all the way to his own battered soul. This woman who had came to mean so much to him was in pain. He couldn't take anymore he wanted, no needed to be with her she needed him.

"Is this it? Is it over?" Derek asked looking up at Jason.

"Afraid not, there is one more spirit to come. But know this Derek you may think you're not good enough for her, that she would be better off, but she love's you. That was why she could never give herself fully to Lynch, not when her heart belonged to you. Live and live well my friend," Jason said fading from view, Derek not even noticing.

Derek looked back at Penelope trying again to touch her, "And I love her, she's the light in my dark life. My heart and solace how could I have neglected her for so long pushed her aside for someone else. Is there a chance she'd still love me that she's take me back."

He tuned to see why Jason hadn't answered him only to come face to face with a lone dark figure. He looked back and Penelope was gone. He stood in his office a cold chill racing over him.

"I guess you're here to show me what the future can hold?"

The figure nodded and pointed.


	5. Ghost of Christmas Future

Author's note: hello again well here's the next piece. We're getting close to the end. Thank you to everyone whose review, alerted, and favorited it means so much to me. I guess that's about it so on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter five

Ghost of Christmas Future

"Don't you talk," Derek said watching the figure in front of him.

He could see no face only dark robes covered the specters body and face. He wondered who it could be, but decided to leave it be.

The figure pointed to the doorway, and they could hear people walking towards them. Two figures appeared in the doorway a man and woman; both appeared to be in their early thirty's.

_"Can you believe he's gone?" the man asked entering the office. _

_ "Not really he's been here so long," she replied setting the boxes down. _

_ "Over thirty years of service that has to be a record of some kind. Dedicated to his job in every way and the criminals he put away. I just hope my own career can be just as good." _

_ "And have nothing but your name on plaques and useless awards to show no one but yourself. No thank you. Yes I love my job, but I want a family and friends to share in my life." _

_ "He had friends and family," the man replied annoyance coloring his voice. _

_ She shook her head, "No he had acquaintances no real friends not after that awful year. He lost most of his close friends after that." _

_ "But he had family," he said grasping at straws._

_ "No one really knows if he did or not. After she left he closed himself off from everyone. Became hard and unmoving," she answered starting to pack up the desk. _

_ She came across a picture frame, the photo inside faded with time. She wondered if that had been his lost love. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind and put the photo in the box. _

_ "So then who's picking this stuff up?" he asked from the other side. _

_ "No clue really I guess we just store it some where until then," she answered. _

"They can't be talking about me can they? I mean I know the team has grown apart in the last few months, but not that far," Derek said looking towards the specter for answers.

The figure remained unmoving just looking strait ahead.

Derek sighed, by far this was the creepiest moment of his life and this journey he suddenly missed having Gideon beside him, hell even Haley would have been preferred to this.

The scene changed again this time to a grave yard one lone figure standing in front of a tombstone, as he walked closer his heart constricted in his chest, barely recognizing the woman standing there.

"Surely it couldn't be?"

_"I miss you Mom it's not the same anymore," Desiree said tears flowing down her face, "I…" she chocked back a sob and tried to continue, "I've come to tell you that Sarah has, she's gone Mom I'm all alone now. I don't know what I'm going to do. I miss my family." _

Derek came to stand beside her trying to take his baby sister into her arms, but finding it frustrating that he couldn't even touch her. "I'm here sis, I haven't gone anywhere."

_"Tell everyone I love them that I'll see you soon," Desiree said before she turned away heart heavy with grief and pain. _

"I don't understand what's happened? Where is everyone?" Derek shouted at the figure anger boiling over.

He just pointed silence raining.

Derek turned around again to see a gathering of people in a banquet hall he didn't recognize. Though when his eyes came to rest on a tall lithe woman, her once dark hair faded to a silvery gray he knew at least in whose company he was in.

_"It's been to long since we've been together," JJ said taking a sip of her coffee. _

_ "That it has, though we seem to be missing a few people," Emily commented passing a hand through her hair. _

_ "I miss Hotch and Rossi to," JJ said then, "I still can't believe Rossi's been gone for nine years and Hotch for six all ready. It just seems like yesterday that we were all together." _

_ Emily nodded her eyes misting with emotion, "There are nights when I swear that I can still feel Aaron by my side." _

_ "I'm sorry Em I didn't mean," JJ trailed off cursing her stupidity. _

_ "No it's ok. I miss him like crazy, but I know he hasn't really left me not, yet anyway." _

_ "You sound like Pen," JJ commented with a chuckle._

_ A smile lit her face, "I'll take that as a complement," Emily said pausing a minute as Spencer came to join them. _

_ "Has anyone seen Penelope lately?" he asked scanning the small gathering. _

_ "No I haven't seen her here, not yet," Emily answered her own eyes scanning the room. _

_ "I wonder if she'll even come," JJ said glancing at her two oldest friends. _

_ "Why wouldn't she JJ?" Spencer asked striating his black tie. _

_ "Because there are some wounds that even time can't heal Spence," JJ answered a sadness entering her eyes. _

_ "But she will come, you know she will. She wouldn't miss this," Emily assumed knowing that JJ was right in some ways. _

_ "Besides she wouldn't let Henry and Jack down," Spencer said wrapping an arm around JJ's waist and placing a kiss to her temple. _

_ A microphone flared to life, "If everyone would take there seats please dinner will be served." _

Derek turned around catching sight of a banner that read "FBI achievement banquet" and wondered who was getting honored. It hit him then that Spencer had said Jack and Henry. Could it be did they join the Bureau following in their parents foot steps. Yet, as he scanned the crowd the scene changed again wind whipping around him chilling him to the bone.

"Oh come on I would have liked to know," Derek exclaimed, growling at the specter.

Again the figure just pointed.

Reluctantly Derek turned around and his heart jammed into his throat, for standing in front of a tombstone stood his baby girl. She looked older, gone were the colorful clothes, her blonde hair turned white with age, yet she still held the same beauty that left him captivated. Though he noticed she seemed depressed and with drawn. Slowly he made his way towards her. He could hear her soft voice even over the howling wind.

_"I still can't believe you're gone. I always thought you'd live forever or at least try to. So many years, so much time we wasted. Dear God how I miss you," she paused wiping the tears that flowed down her cheeks. "I remember the day we first met you getting my name wrong and calling me baby girl. That was one of the best days of my life. But we messed up, we messed up big time." _

"She can't be. That can't be what I think it is?" Derek said fear gripping his heart. He tried to touch her to, to wipe away the tears, but nothing he couldn't feel her.

_"You know I always wondered what had happened between us. Did we just drift apart? Did I do something to push you away? I wish now that I had asked you instead of just letting it lay. I wonder where we would be today if I had." _

"You didn't do anything Goddess. It was me all me. I didn't want to loose what we had, but I couldn't stand to see you with him. I was stupid. Gideon was right I need a kick in the ass."

_"I never married you know. After Kevin left that Christmas eve I couldn't not when I knew my heart belonged to you," she choked back the sob that threatened to escape. "I never got to tell you that I loved you, not like a brother or a friend, but as a woman loved a man and now you're gone and all I have left is a tombstone to talk to. At least when you were alive I knew you were safe to a point, but now what am I to do. I miss you Derek so much I will forever love you until my dieing day." _

_ Penelope laid a single white rose on the tombstone before turning to go her heart heavy with pain and loss. _

Derek turned, "Please tell me this is fixable that what I've seen can be changed, I don't want that for her. I never wanted that for her. I love her."

"I love her," he repeated waking with a start.

He looked around his office running a hand over his head and even patted down his body to make sure he was well and truly alive. His dark eyes came to rest on the one lone picture sitting in front of him and he knew what had to be done and he didn't waste another minute of his life to do it. She was too important to him. Faster than lightening Derek Morgan ran from his office, to his car and out of the parking lot, life was waiting on him he just hoped he wasn't too late to grab what he truly wanted more importantly who he wanted.

Jason and Haley's words ringing in his ears, "Live and live well."


	6. Where are you Christmas

Author's note: all right everyone I think we're coming into the home stretch here. Depending on what you all want I may do another chapter so let me know. Thank you one again to everyone who's reviewed, alerted, and favorited it means a lot to me. So enough of my mouth on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter six

Where are you Christmas

_Where are you Christmas  
Do you remember  
The one you used to know  
I'm not the same one  
See what the time's done  
Is that why you have let me go  
_

_Faith Hill, singer_

_The Grinch that stole Christmas album_

He couldn't believe it Christmas day the spirits had managed to change his mind and heart into just six hours time. Again he looked at his watch reading the dial seven thirty in the morning Christmas day and here he was standing outside Penelope's apartment unsure of himself. He knew she'd be pissed at him that it was to early in the damn morning for this kind of thing, but he couldn't wait any longer he'd waited to long already and look were that got him.

A little hesitantly, he put knuckles to wood, raping a few times then waiting holding his breath for the reaction he would receive. When he heard no movement he knocked again worry starting to fill him. Did she leave, or maybe what he'd seen the night before didn't happen and Lynch was there now in her bed with her. The thought twisted his gut and had him turning to go. However, the sound of locks turning made him stop and twist back towards her door just as she opened it.

The knocking didn't stop. Even after the shitty night she had she just wanted to be left alone to wallow in her self pity, yet the incessant noisy kept going making her head hurt worst. Slowly she trudged to the door wrapping her robe tightly around her body.

"This better be good. Waking me up at seven thirty in the damn morning," Penelope grumbled to herself, flinging the door open.

She wasn't expecting it to be the person who stood on her door step dressed in the same clothes she'd left him in yesterday afternoon, when she'd left to get ready for that damn Christmas party that she didn't even go to in the end.

Shock was replaced with anger, "What do you want Morgan? It's too early in the morning."

Derek just stared at her, dressed in a lavender robe her feet bare, her hair sleep tousled, yet her eyes those once bright and shining eyes that he loved to get lost in were dim with sorrow. He knew it was partly his fault for the pain, he just hoped that things could be fixed that she's let him explain and right the wrongs.

Clearing his throat he tried to speak, "Can I come in?"

She moved back to allow him to enter, yet grumbled, "No I don't want anymore sleep I'm just fine."

She left him standing in the doorway after closing the door and making her way towards the kitchen intending on making a cup of coffee.

Unsure of what to say, Derek just stood there. This was new territory for him.

"Was there a reason this couldn't wait until a reasonable hour?" came her question from the kitchen. She appeared a few minutes later still wanting of an answer.

"It's too important to wait Penelope," Derek replied fidgeting under her harsh stare.

Derek Morgan never fidgets. He's calm and collected not nervous and out of sorts. She noticed that he seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders and her eyes soften just a fraction, yet she didn't let her guard down.

"Then spit it out all ready, so I can get back to sleep," she said wincing at how harsh that sounded.

Running a hand over his head, Derek moved forward and took Penelope's hand in his to lead her towards the couch. She took the hint and sat down, Derek right next to her. She could feel the heat radiating off his body. Studying him a moment while his eyes were diverted, she could see the dark lines under his eyes. The day's worth of stubble on his cheeks and chin. The heavy sag of his shoulders, making her wonder what had happened in the space of time after she'd left.

His eyes met hers for a brief moment of time and she could see so much of his heart in just that one look. "I've been a fool Penelope. These last few months, hell the last year, but I thought it was for the best, you were happy."

She snorted, "Happy? How would you know if I'd been happy we barely spoke two words to each other that wasn't work related?"

"This isn't easy for me. I thought I knew what I wanted was a career to be known for putting away the scum bags of this world. But, I was shown the error of my ways last night and I don't want that anymore."

"I don't understand Derek. Your not making any sense, your all over the place," Penelope said trying to wake her sleep deprived brain up.

"What I'm saying is that I want that family, to have a life like my parents had. To give my Mom those grandbabies she keeps asking for. I still want a career, but it's not the only thing, it's not the main thing I want," he explained trying to convey with his eyes what and who he wanted.

"Well I'm happy for you Derek. Good to know that it won't be all about the job anymore. I'm sure Tamara will be pleased. Do you want coffee?" Penelope said, rising from the couch. She had to get away. She didn't want him to see the tear gathering in her eyes.

She knew it was foolish of her to think for just that moment that maybe he'd want her. That he'd look passed all her flaws and see the woman she was under neither everything. She shook her head pushing the sob back down her throat. She'd been dumped last night on Christmas Eve and now her once best friend was telling her that he wanted a family with another woman. She began to wonder if moving, taking another job, in another city would be a better idea.

He watched her go sadness filling his eyes. She still didn't get it. It wasn't about Tamara. It was about her, he wanted, needed her no one else.

"Tamara has nothing to do with this decision baby girl. She wasn't even a thought," Derek said walking into her kitchen.

"Shouldn't you be calling her that? I'm not your baby girl anymore," Penelope returned stiffening her back.

His voice low he answered, "There will only ever be one baby girl in my life and that's you Penelope."

"Not when you marry her. I won't let you," she said turning to face him.

She wouldn't back down from this. She needed out and away from him for good.

"Who said anything about marring her? She's not who I want Goddess," Derek said his eyes darkening.

He couldn't figure out why he waited so long. Why did he not see what was right in front of him all this time. It had almost been too late, but they had given him a second chance to right his wrongs.

A gasp left her lips as she watched Derek approach. She quick ducked away her coffee in hand.

"Then who?" she choked out then took a sip of the dark brew trying to calm her nerves. When had she got so nervous around him?

One word left his lips, "You."

She shook her head, "No not me, it's never been and never will be me."

"Why not?"

"Because…" she began searching for an answer.

"Why Penelope? Why can't it be you?" Derek asked advancing towards her.

Her back hit the wall of her kitchen. She was trapped and had an advancing Derek Morgan giving her a predatory look that made the blood in her veins sizzles.

"Would never work out we're too different," she replied grasping at straws.

A laugh escaped him, "How so?"

Penelope rolled her eyes at his answer did he really want her to explain herself.

"Yes I do," he said reading her mind.

"Derek you don't want me, not even as a friend. We don't belong together."

"That's were your wrong baby girl we fit just perfectly," Derek said pulling her into his arms showing her that they fit.

He took the coffee cup out of her hand and sat it down on the cabinet then brought the same hand to his mouth kissing each and every finger. He knew they needed to talk about he couldn't help himself. She looked to damn good to leave alone. He needed her beside him, to feel her soft body press against his to make sure that it was truly real.

She shook her head again pulling out of his arms, they just left her feeling to confused. "What changed since last night?"

How he wanted to pull her back, but he knew with her own arms wrapped around herself, she wouldn't expect him not, yet and not without an explanation. "I received the kick in the ass I needed to see what and who I wanted. To show me what truly was important in my life and not just work."

"Why me?" Penelope asked vulnerability showing in her eyes.

"It's always been you baby girl from that first day. I was just too stubborn to grab what I wanted to scared."

"Scared?" the word escaped before she could stop it.

"That I would hurt you and destroy the friendship that came to mean so much to me. Yes our flirting started out as fun a way to relieve stress, but it came to mean so much more to me. You mean so much more to me than that. I told you I loved you. I didn't mean as a brother or a friend I meant as a man loves a woman," he explained wearing his heart in his eyes.

"Than why Tamara?"

"Because it was just easier," Derek answered, running a hand over his bald head. He then asked the one question he'd been wondering about for awhile, "Why Kevin?"

Penelope looked away turning her back on Derek not wanting to answer.

"Don't you do that Penelope don't you turn your back on me now. I want an answer."

She didn't turn around it was her turn to fidget. Softly she answers, "Kevin was available the only one who showed any interest in me that wasn't out to kill me. He was the best bet or so I thought. He turned out to be a dub to just like every other man."

Derek winced at the pain her heard in her voice and mentally smacked himself for being so stupid. "Can we move forward together?"

This time she turned to face him and the depth of her sadness scorched his soul, "I don't know Derek. I miss you I really do, but I need a little time."

He looked away from her, even after everything they'd showed him and he'd changed, but one thing would always remain just out of his reach.

"I understand," Derek said, his own sadness filling his voice, "I just… you need to know that what ever you decide I will always love you. No one can ever fill that space in my heart. You make me feel whole. It was missing in me while we drifted apart. I guess I'll see you at work Garcia," he turned to leave tears burning his eyes.

He'd thought she'd forgive him that she'd take him back, but he was mistaken and now he wasn't sure which path his life would take.

Penelope watched him go sorrow filling her body. She never wanted to hurt him, but she didn't believe in happily ever after's not for her, yet here he was offering her the one thing she never thought would come her way. She was scared, to scared to see that he was and would always be her happiness.

The drive home Derek went over everything he'd said trying to figure out were he went wrong. But, nothing came to mind. He wondered if he waited to long. Did he not say enough to convince her?

Pulling into his parking space he climbed out slowly and made his away up to his apartment. A quick shower and bed would do him a world of good. He'd call his mom and sisters, and book the first flight out, and then he'd figure out what to do.


	7. All I want for Christmas

Author's note: all right here it is the last chapter. I hope you all like it I'm not to sure it sounds any good but hey I tried right lol. Thank you to everyone who reviewed alerted and added to favorites I'm so happy that you've taken your time out to read this. And by the way Merry Christmas to all may it be a bright and happy one for everyone. Now I guess it's on with the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except me.

Chapter seven

All I want for Christmas

Rooted to the spot Penelope tried to make sense out of what just happened, yet coming up short. The one man she'd tried hundreds of times to get out of her system had just offered her forever and what'd she do turned him down flat. She was a chicken pure and simple to scared to grab the brass ring, in case it bit her in the ass. She wondered how she'd be able to show her face at work being the coward she was.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind she went back towards the living room to awake now to get any semblance of sleep and cursing her stupidity. Flipping on the television, the old classic version of "A _Christmas Carol_" filled her screen as if the TV it's self was mocking her.

"Of course just remind me even more of him," Penelope sighed, her thoughts conjuring up the first Christmas she'd spent with Derek.

This time the tears really did fall as she realized she'd lost the one and only good thing in her life. She began to wonder how they fell apart as she searched for a tissue to wipe her eyes. Coming up empty only to have her fingers found something else. An envelope that looked yellow with age and had the year 2007 written in the distinctive scroll of Derek Morgan. Curiosity got the better of her and she pulled the piece of paper out and unfolded it gasping when she saw that the letter was addressed to her.

_Dear Penelope, _

_ I doubt you'll ever read this, but after you were shot a strange urge came over me to write this letter. I've never been very good at displaying my feels. Hell the only one I'd ever cried to was my Mom. But you, you have opened something in me that I thought would never happen. As I write this you're on the first date with Lynch, I know I have no right to feel jealous of him. You deserve happiness something I would never be able to give you. I'm too scarred in both mind and soul. I can never give you the life that you deserve that's why I let it go, I let you go. _

_ You see when I told you I loved you I meant it, not as a sister or a best friend, but as something deeper more real than I thought I could ever feel. You are the light in my dark soul, the driving force in my life. Cliché I know but every word is true. _

_ I wish I could be stronger, but I can't. In truth I'm a coward to afraid to grasp and hold on to the one woman who makes me feel whole. You put a smile on my face with just a laugh, yet can tear out a piece of me with just a look. I don't know when my feelings changed maybe I've always felt this way and it took almost losing you to see how important you are to me. _

_ But I see now that it will never be. It can't be. After all you are the Goddess in my glass house, walls to strong for me to brake. You will always remain the only woman who holds my heart no matter how many others there'll be. Not one will ever compare to my baby girl. You will forever be my only true love. _

_ I just hope that one day, a day soon I can finally tell you this and show you this letter, but I'm afraid life will eternally mock me and the little bit of sunshine you show me will fade with time. I can only hope that you never turn away from me, that you're always within my reach no matter the circumstances. Perhaps one day we'll be, but until then you will always have me. _

_ Yours forever _

_ Derek…_

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she read the letter over again making sure she wasn't seeing things, that her sleep deprived brain wasn't trying to conjure up something that wasn't there. Then she knew, knew that if she let him slip away she'd never be fine happiness or wholeness again.

Dropping the piece of paper on her coffee table Penelope all, but ran out the door after grabbing her keys and cell off the end table not caring what she looked like or that she was still in her Christmas pajamas with little reindeer scattered on the pants.

"You think she's going to do it," a female voice asked.

"I think there's nothing to stop her from getting what she wants," the man next to her answered.

"How did you know the letter would push her in the right direction, Jason?" she asked curiosity getting the better of her.

"I didn't, I just guessed," he replied a slight smile on his face.

He'd barely laid down when the knocking started. Sighing he tossed the covers back and rose up out of bed. Now he knew what Penelope felt like when he came barging into her apartment. Entering the living room he noticed that Clooney wasn't barking like he'd normally do when someone banged on his door instead his faithful companion just stood there whining.

He received the answer after turning the lock and coming face to face with a shivering Penelope Garcia. He didn't know if he was seeing things or if the lack of sleep was messing with his mind, yet he thought she never looked better.

"Can a girl come in to get warm?" Penelope asked her voice wavering just slightly. She figured he'd had time to change but damn did the man have to come out in nothing but a pair of pajamas bottoms. She only hoped she could focus on the matter at hand instead of giving into the fantasy of running her hands over his sculpted body.

Without a word Derek moved aside and let her enter, then went in search of a blanket to warm her up. When he returned he wrapped her in the warm fabric trying to not let his hands linger for to long, regardless of how much he wanted to pull her close and hold on forever.

He walked over to the couch, Penelope following silently behind him trying to search for the right words to explain.

But he took that from her, "Why are you here?"

He hoped that it didn't come out to harsh, but he still had to protect himself. He didn't want to get hurt and she could so very easily break his heart into tiny pieces with just a word. It was new territory for him, he'd never let anyone get this close before and he would never let it happen again.

She looked up into his chocolate brown eyes and felt herself start to crumble under the intensity of the emotions running through those usually warm orbs. She could see that he'd closed himself off from her and he had every right to. She'd hurt him by not accepting his explanation earlier or giving him a real one of her own. She just hoped that it wasn't too late that he could forgive her foolishness.

Clearing her throat she began, "It's my turn to play the fool Derek. I was and still am scared that letting you in would spell the end of me. That if I give in to the love I feel for you I'll lose myself when you decided that you want someone better. Because I can't live without you in my life, I tried that for over two years and I lost something in that span of time. I lost you."

"There's no one better for me than you…" Derek began only to have Penelope interrupt him.

"How sure are you of that?" Penelope asked the same fears surrounding her again.

Sighing Derek cupped the right side of her face in one of his large hands caressing the soft skin underneath his finger tips. "I'm very sure of that. I've tried to get you out of my system, but you just kept coming back stronger than before. You're in my blood Penelope. But above all you're in my heart and soul. If the last two years has taught me anything it's that I don't function well without you next to me, whispering in my ear."

Tears gathered in her eyes at his words she wanted to believe him, but her heart still carried the scars of past wounds. "I want to believe that this will work out that we wont both get hurt in the end, but there's a part of me that just can't seem to let go."

"Then don't think about it, just feel," Derek said bringing his lips down over hers. The move was a risky one, but worth it.

The kiss started out soft, just little chaste pecks, but that one taste didn't quench the thirst that raged inside Derek. Slowly he deepened the kiss bragging his tongue over the seam of her lips hoping that she'd part them so he could dive into the warm cavern of her soft and sweet mouth. His wish was granted when a happy sigh left her lips and she snaked her arms around his neck pulling her body close to his.

He wrapped his own arms around her waist pulling her into his lap. Now that he had her, knew what she tasted and felt like he wasn't letting her go not for anything in the world. Leisurely he ran his hands up and down her back feeling a delighted shiver run down her body. He noticed in that moment how well they fit together, how no other woman had ever made him feel, so free and whole like his baby girl.

Slowly he pulled back from her lips, yet kept her body close making sure that she was indeed real. "Does this mean that you love me to?" Derek asked insecurities filling his mind with doubt.

"I've always loved you, my chocolate God of sculpted thunder. I was just waiting for you to catch up," Penelope replied cheekily, laying a quick peck to his lips, trying to sooth the look in his eyes.

"Good because now that I have you I don't intend to let you go."

"I was hoping you'd say that," she returned a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Without giving it much thought Derek scooped her up into his strong arms and carried her to his bedroom.

"And where to you think your taking me stud?" Penelope asked running her nails over the back of his neck hearing him growl deep within his chest.

He stopped for a moment to deliver another passionate kiss to her lips before replying, "To bed my Goddess you need your beauty sleep."

"I like the sound of that," she snuggled into the shelter of his arms as he continued towards his room.

By the time he entered the bedroom, he knew that she was dozing slightly. Gently he laid her down before climbing over her to settle on his side looking down at his beautiful woman. He ran a hand down the side of her face watching as her eyes fluttered open and looked at him with so much trust and love that he had to swallow the lump in his throat.

Slowly she brought a hand up to caress his jaw line before moving towards his neck and brought his lips to hers. This time she run her tongue over his lips begging for entrance which he granted, she sucked his bottom lips between her teeth nibbling the flesh lightly before diving back into the fiery kiss.

They spent the morning just kissing and holding one another delighting in the feel of having the one person they wanted and needed the most in there life. Later after a long sleep Derek woke up with Penelope curled into his side, her silky blonde curls tickling his nose, thanking God that he had her in his arms and vowed to never let her go again. No matter what happened they'd face life together. He'd learned what was important in his life and held the lessons he'd learned from those three spirits in his heart next to his mother, sisters and his baby girl.


	8. Merry Christmas Baby

Author's note: ok so it was suppose to end with the last chapter, but my muse as well and Derek and Pen kept bugging me to write this little piece. I hope you like. As always thank you for the reviews alerts and favorites they are like candy for my soul and much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter eight

Merry Christmas Baby

Christmas had always been a busy time of year for their family and this year was no exception. He watched his baby girl move around their home has she checked last time details. Wishing not for the first time that she would have wore something different than that red wrap dress that clung to her every curve.

"You know they won't think any less of you if something is out of place, sweetness," Derek said an edge of laughter to his voice.

"But I will," she answered straitening the table cloth where the desserts sat. "I'm just glad that we didn't have a case this year to ruin Christmas."

Derek walked over and brought his wife of a year and a half into his arms holding her close, "So am I sugar. Now will you slow down this is suppose to be a fun time not something you stress out about."

"I know," she began wrapping her arms around his neck, "I just want everything prefect your Mom is coming tonight for the first time since we've been married and I don't want anything less than perfection."

"She doesn't expect that baby girl," Derek returned cupping the right side of her face.

Penelope leaned into his touch, moving her lips to kiss the palm of his hand, enticing a low growl from him. Even after being together for over two years she still couldn't stop the butterfly's that gathered in her stomach at his touch. No man had ever be able to steel her breath with just one look, like he could and she knew what the look his eyes spelled as his lips inched closer to hers.

A soft giggle escaped before turning into a moan as he sought out every crevice of her mouth, exploring her as if it was the first time. His hands not staying idle as the roamed her back, cupping her ass passively and bring her body in closer.

A loud knock had them breaking apart, yet she could see the just barely dampened fire in his eyes. "Save that for later Hot Stuff," Penelope said, winking at him before sashaying towards the door knowing that his eyes would be glued to her body watching her walk away.

"Damn little tease," Derek growled trying to get his body back under control.

No matter how much time had passed he still got hard when she walked into the room. One look from those gorgeous brown eyes and they filled his mind with inappropriate imagines. He knew he'd spend the rest of his life loving that woman. But right now wasn't the time to act on those feelings, so before he could embrace himself he slipped off to the kitchen for a cold drink hoping the cool his adore for his wife.

Penelope opened the door and was greeted with the smiling faces of her family. "Fran I'm so glad you could make it."

"I am to Penelope," Fran returned bringing the younger woman into a warm hug, whispering, "is Derek behaving himself?"

"Not so much," she answered laughter filling her voice.

"He never could sit still for very long," Fran chuckled.

"I heard that Ma," Derek exclaimed walking towards the small group.

"It's the truth bro. You've always been a little impatient. Even when you were younger," Sarah said giving an attention seeking Clooney some love.

"I'd say a lot impatient, Sar," Desiree added excepting the hug from Penelope.

"All right you lot can we move out of the doorway. There are more people coming in," a disgruntled Rossi said though the tone didn't match his words, nor did the teasing light in his warm brown eyes.

"Why hello to you to Dave," Derek said shaking hands with the older man.

"Glad you could make it, David," Penelope said placing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

Shrugging out of her coat Fran looked around taking in all the bright and festive Christmas decorations, the big full tree that stood in the front window, but what caught her attention the most was the pictures that littered the fire place mantel. She slipped away when Desiree and Sarah asked if Penelope needed any help while Derek and David went for drinks.

She smiled when her eyes came to rest on a team picture taking just after Christmas at Rossi's house two years ago. She could see the bond that they shared so plainly radiating from the picture and was glad that her son had found a second family to call his own. The next picture had a laugh escaping her lips, Penelope and Derek at the Annual Spring picnic the Bureau held. Derek had just drenched Penelope with a water balloon only to have her retaliate with her own as a why to apologize he had came towards her hands raised up in surrender and grabbed her around the waist pulling her into a kiss.

"That was a good day for everyone," a male voice said from beside her.

Fran looked up to see Aaron Hotchner standing next to her, dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve dark green shirt. She could see that he'd found something of peace since the last time she'd seen him at Penelope and Derek's wedding.

"I can just bet it was," Fran began, "how have you been Aaron?"

A genuine smile lit his eyes as he answered, "Good, life has kept moving and all I can do is move with it."

"That's all we can do," Fran returned and was about to say more, but got interrupted by not so little Jack Hotchner.

"Dad, Aunt Penny said I could have a cookie before dinner can I," asked the six year old boy, eyes shining with hope.

"Only one Jack I don't want you ruining your dinner," Aaron answered shaking his head while watching his son disappear.

"Children are a gift from God," Fran added a smile on her face.

"Yes they are," he said glancing at his son then drifting towards Emily who had her back to him.

Meanwhile Emily had made her way towards the kitchen, "You sure I can't help Pen?"

"Sweetie I really don't want to have to call the fire department on Christmas eve, so go sit your pretty little but down somewhere with the boyfriend of yours and leave it be," Penelope answered a teasing light brighten her eyes.

"Gee thanks Pen for the vote of confidence," Emily pouted taking a seat on a stool at the counter.

"I love you to Em," Penelope returned setting a glass of wine in front of her.

"Don't worry about it Emily she wouldn't let me help either," JJ exclaimed from behind them.

"And where did you get off to?" Emily asked turning to face the blonde.

"Bathroom," JJ answered taking the seat next to her.

"Oww," Spencer exclaimed rubbing the back of his hand.

Both Emily and JJ turned around to see Penelope standing beside Reid a guilt look covering his face.

"Serves you right for trying to get a piece of cake before you've even had dinner, I swear you need looking after all the time," Penelope exclaimed though there was a joking lilt to her voice.

"I've tried that for years Pen it never works," JJ said glancing over at the pair.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Reid whined playfully.

"Sister solidarity Spence you've been over ruled," JJ shot back laughter dancing in her eyes.

Later after everyone had their fill of both food and wine, a few presents were opened and both Henry and Jack were laid down the family sat around the living just enjoying the time to catch up regardless of the fact that they lived out of each others pocket most of the time while working out in the field. They didn't want to fall apart again and forget each other.

"Derek," Penelope whispered in his ear catching his attention.

"Yea baby girl?" he asked his eyes dancing with love.

"Do you want your present now?"

"Anytime your ready, Goddess."

Taking his head in hers she placed it on her stomach just below her right breast and said with eyes glittering, "Congratulations Daddy."

A bit confused, Derek looked up into her smiling brown eyes before realization set in and he brought her lips to his in a passionate kiss audience be damned. He was too happy to let a little thing like that stop him.

"Ok you two get a room, I think I'm going to loose my dinner," Emily exclaimed throwing a napkin at Derek's head.

Pulling back they just grinned at each other happiness radiating off them.

"So when's the due date," Fran asked, surprising everyone. She had been watching her daughter the whole night, seeing the subtle changes and knowing what they would bring.

"How did you know?" Penelope asked astonishment showing on her face.

Fran just smiled, and said, "A mother just knows."

Derek smiled at his wife as he ran a hand over her yet to be showing belly knowing that a life was growing inside. I life that almost wasn't if it hadn't been for that fateful Christmas Eve night two years ago and even after all that time he kept to the promise to keep his family close to never forget the important things in life.

Gathering his wife close he looked at his family a little unconventional true, but they had each other and nothing would ever destroy that. They would live and live well. Making the most of what life had to offer together.

The End…


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